What Is Shadow Work? A Gentle Guide to Healing the Parts You Hide
What Is the Shadow?
You’ve probably heard the phrase “shadow work” in spiritual or self-development circles. It might sound mysterious or even intimidating at first—but at its core, shadow work is simply the practice of bringing loving awareness to the parts of yourself you’ve learned to hide.
The shadow is the unconscious side of your personality—the traits, memories, emotions, or behaviors that your conscious mind has rejected. Often, these are parts of you that were once judged, punished, or misunderstood. You tucked them away to stay safe, accepted, or in control.
But here’s the truth: those parts didn’t disappear. They still live within you, quietly shaping your reactions, relationships, patterns, and sense of self.
Shadow work is the brave, compassionate journey of meeting those parts again—and welcoming them back.
Where Does the Shadow Come From?
Psychologist Carl Jung coined the term “shadow” to describe the disowned aspects of the psyche—anything you push out of conscious awareness because it doesn’t match your identity or upbringing.
That could be:
Anger (if you were praised only for being “nice”)
Confidence (if you were told not to outshine others)
Sensitivity (if you were mocked for crying)
Desire (if you were taught to suppress your needs)
Your shadow isn’t inherently dark or dangerous—it’s just hidden. It holds gold as well as grief. When we avoid it, we often:
React emotionally without understanding why
Sabotage relationships or opportunities
Feel blocked, stuck, or unsure of who we really are
Psychologist Carl Jung described the “shadow” as the unconscious side of the psyche—everything we repress, deny, or disown. Often, it’s made up of traits or needs that were unwelcome in our families, culture, or social environments.
The shadow isn’t evil—it’s unseen.
It could include:
Your sensitivity, if you were told to "toughen up"
Your ambition, if you were taught to stay small
Your anger, if you were punished for expressing it
Shadow work helps you reclaim these parts with compassion.
Signs You Might Be Avoiding Your Shadow
Frequent emotional triggers or reactivity
Self-sabotaging patterns
Harsh self-criticism or judgment of others
Difficulty setting boundaries or knowing what you want
A sense of inner conflict or “not enoughness”
These are not failures—they are invitations.
Why Shadow Work Matters
When you avoid your shadow, it doesn't disappear. It shows up in:
Relationships that repeat unhealthy dynamics
Anxiety, perfectionism, or burnout
Feeling stuck, numb, or disconnected
Over giving or people-pleasing at your own expense
Shadow work helps you:
Heal past wounds without bypassing them
Create more authentic relationships
Reconnect with your intuition
Step into a more integrated, aligned self
How to Start Shadow Work (Gently)
1. Journal with Compassion
Try prompts like:
What part of me feels unseen?
What do I judge in others that I may also carry?
What did I learn to suppress in order to feel safe or loved?
2. Notice Your Triggers
Triggers are messengers. When something sparks a strong reaction, ask:
What emotion is underneath this?
Does this remind me of something from my past?
3. Meet Your Inner Child
Your shadow often began forming in childhood. Reconnecting can look like:
Visualizing a younger version of yourself
Asking: What did they need? How can I offer that now?
4. Create an Emotional Safety Net
Don’t try to “fix” everything at once. Instead, build a safe inner space:
Light a candle before journaling
Take 3 grounding breaths
Set a timer for 10 minutes and gently close when it’s done
You’re Not Broken—You’re Becoming Whole
Shadow work isn’t about achieving perfection. It’s about welcoming back the parts of you that were never truly lost—just hidden.
You don’t need to become someone new.
You’re remembering who you already are.
Further Resources for Your Journey
Jung, C. G. "Psychological Types" and "The Archetypes and the Collective Unconscious"
Ford, Debbie. The Dark Side of the Light Chasers
Mateo Sol & Aletheia Luna – lonerwolf.com
Journal Prompt Inspiration: Insight Timer or The Holistic Psychologist (@the.holistic.psychologist)
Disclaimer: This post is not medical advice. Please consult a physician or mental health provider for diagnosis and treatment of any health or psychological issues.
Enjoyed this article? Explore more child wellness tools or contact me to learn how I can help your organization create parent-friendly health content.
