Helping Your Child With Anxiety
Written by A. J.
Anxiety can be crippling—even for adults who understand it. If you've ever experienced racing thoughts, tightness in your chest, or felt like you couldn't breathe, then you know how scary anxiety can be.
Would you believe me if I told you that children experience all of that too?
Before I retired from teaching, I saw anxiety every day in my classroom—some kids more than others. And every year, it seemed to increase. Children with ADHD were especially impacted. As someone who lives with ADHD myself, I understood exactly what many of them were feeling.
One condition that often comes with ADHD is called Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD)—a heightened emotional response to perceived criticism or rejection. Where most people have one internal voice whispering self-doubt, kids with ADHD often have twenty. These voices don’t stop—and that constant loop fuels anxiety and self-rejection.
When anxiety and RSD combine, school and social situations can become overwhelming—even paralyzing.
Through trial, error, and a lot of heart, I developed strategies to help my students (and later my own kids) manage anxiety. These calming techniques helped them regain control—and they can help your child, too.
Breathing Techniques for Anxious Kids
One of the first signs of anxiety is disrupted breathing—shallow, rapid breaths or even breath-holding. Teaching intentional belly breathing gives kids a simple, physical tool they can use anytime, anywhere.
Try Square Breathing
Have your child imagine (or trace) a square on their palm.
As they trace the first side, inhale slowly through the nose to a count of 3, filling the belly like a balloon.
Trace the next side while exhaling slowly through the mouth, pulling the belly in.
Repeat for all four sides until they feel calmer.
If your child struggles with this, try using an expandable breathing ball. Use the same breathing method, as square breathing, only time breaths with expanding and shrinking the ball. The visual and tactile feedback helps them stay engaged while learning to regulate their breath.
Coloring to Calm the Nervous System
Coloring may seem simple, but it’s incredibly effective. It provides focus, stimulates creativity, and helps calm the nervous system.
When I was teaching, anxious students knew they could come to me, grab a coloring page and crayons, and reset before their anxiety escalated into a full-blown attack.
Pro Tip: Teach your child to self-advocate. Partner with their teacher to build a system where they can access calming tools when needed.
From my own experience in the classroom, I can tell you—this works. When children were given the language and permission to communicate their needs, it didn’t just reduce their anxiety; it empowered them. It allowed me, as their teacher, to respond supportively rather than reactively. We created simple signals or systems that gave anxious students a sense of agency without disrupting the class. A quiet hand signal, a calm corner pass, or even a visual card system made all the difference.
When self-advocacy is taught early and practiced consistently, it becomes a lifelong tool—not just for school, but for navigating the world.
Meditation (Yes, Even for Kids)
While meditation may not be practical during a busy school day, it can be a powerful morning or evening tool at home. Practicing mindfulness—even for just 5–10 minutes—helps kids ground themselves before school or calm down at night.
Pair meditation with breathing techniques. You don’t need a perfectly quiet room—just a consistent routine and some deep breaths.
Yoga for Emotional Regulation and ADHD
Yoga is my go-to for managing both anxiety and ADHD. It helps kids process emotions, release tension, and increase focus. It also boosts dopamine and endorphins, which are especially helpful for kids with ADHD.
One of my favorite tools is the children’s book Good Night Yoga by Mariam Gates. It turns movement into a calming bedtime ritual that brings joy and emotional safety.
Teaching yoga early gives children a lifelong skill for managing stress and reconnecting with their bodies.
Supporting Your Child (and Yourself) Through Anxiety
Watching your child suffer from anxiety is heartbreaking. Our instinct is to fix it—but anxiety doesn’t respond to quick fixes. What your child needs most is for you to stay calm and equip them with tools they can use at their own pace.
When my kids were anxious, I found my own anxiety rising too—which only made things worse. Children are emotionally intuitive. They feel what we feel. That’s why it’s so important to model calm, breathe together, and make anxiety management a shared effort.
These techniques aren’t cures—but they are bridges. Use them to help your child move from overwhelmed to grounded, from reactive to present.
Final Thoughts
Try these techniques together. Let your child lead. Let them laugh, mess up, and try again. You’ll not only help them regulate their emotions—you’ll build trust, connection, and resilience they’ll carry for life.
Disclaimer: This post is not medical advice. Please consult your child’s physician or mental health provider for diagnosis and treatment of anxiety.
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